Illusion

I heard them say, “He probably went to heaven; his deeds flew him there.” The morning sunshine he used to call me to my face, the lifeline he thought I was, was enough for my awakening to the only good that I ought to witness. We’d had our days being sugar candies to one another, conversations while his fingers tangled onto my hair brushing off all my dilemmas about love; about the togetherness and nothing at all bothered. He gave me everything he thought he did, and all I did was followed his lead into the illusion of bubbles of placebos. When trapped in there, I enjoyed the secrets of his life painted amongst the wall; mesmerising moments with no trouble, his charming face, all our cuddles. I loved his taste, the eyes I could watch it for the rest. I dived too deep but the deeper brought the darker. Despite the haste I had his back, and never used to point what he actually lacked. I thought the dark would let in the light and when I opened the door, I only had black sight. He’d started fading away but I darted to his heart, it splattered right above and scattered it all with anything but love. I hoped love to be true, but all his eyes delivered was the enigmas. I never wanted to fall to the concrete of detest but alas when I took the swing, I landed onto someone soft, someone full of love and presumably the best. I shouldn’t have laid my eyes on him as he is the regret that’s brought me to hell. But when the regrets’ worth living for, the heart finally rests. I needed no mends; I was healed but when I turned around to keep my promise, he never stayed to hear my commitments. I never wanted to get lured by a new love, I never had the guts. I said what love is love if there are no mistakes but he didn’t even have any time in the world for me to explain all of the rest. Swiped beneath the carpet all the chaos that I had, he stayed in peace gave me nothing but the least. I never asked for more but now I need it. I had lots of love stored in a catapult ready to bestow upon him, but with no luck he dodged it as he had no idea what I endowed upon him. Now the amour I’ve invested in, illuminated and embraced me for I could just find the fresh soul selflessly blessing me. I sink into a puddle of guilt as I chose to be loved than to love but it was all worth the shot when I couldn’t get back from the love that I had built. I look around the netherworld and I see your glimpse. They were probably wrong about you as you serve to your stealth of betrayal while the god of heaven winks.